Autism Affirmation: It's Okay To Seek Comfort

Many of us have internalized the belief that we are not allowed to seek comfort. That comfort is a failure state.That growth only happens through pushing past it.

For many autistic people, especially those of us who have masked our whole lives, comfort was never something we were taught to consider. We learned early on that our needs were inconvenient, excessive, or something to override.

After learning I was autistic and exploring unmasking, one of the biggest shifts was realizing I had never asked myself a very basic question: Am I comfortable?The idea itself felt foreign. I was confused when others declined things simply because they were uncomfortable, I had learned to live without comfort entirely.

Now, I’m curious about my comfort. Am I comfortable right now? Why or why not?What supports it? What disrupts it? What short-term discomfort might lead to more sustainable comfort later and is that tradeoff worth it?

Five years ago, I couldn’t have told you whether I felt more comfortable at home or out in the world, because I didn’t know what comfort felt like. Now I know that I love being home for many reasons, many of them autism-related.

And even as I choose environments that don’t overwhelm me, the old belief still shows up: I shouldn’t be coddling myself. I shouldn’t be comfortable.

Unlearning that is a process. Which is why the reminder matters:

It is okay to seek comfort.