Some thoughts about why autism is confusing, at least why it's confusing to me.

Not a comprehensive list by any means but some common themes I have seen clinically and personally.

As you may have guessed as a therapist with lived-experienced, this is a deeply personal journey. The beginning of this story is actually way before I became a therapist, before I even knew that much about psychology. It began when my parents told me that a family member was getting an Asperger’s assessment (I am deeply aware Asperger’s is no longer a term used and has a bad history to it but I am using it here for accuracy, Asperger’s syndrome is now included in the diagnosi

Joining a group of late-discovered folks, some very early in their discovery journey and some many years in, offers a place where you don't have to overexplain your autistic experience in hopes the other person might finally understand. Trust me, we understand.

This is a short list of some traits that most of my clients struggle with

Do you know what my main marketing strategy is? Just posting endlessly showing how autistic I am

The Internalized, High-Masking Experience Of Autism

All late-diagnosed Autistic people have had to give up so much to survive.

Maybe, in the end, it was a bridge to nowhere.

I’ve started training for marathons and beyond. I’ve never run one before. Yet, marathons and ultras don’t seem much different than...

I work with a population that has inherently experienced trauma and betrayal and interpersonal challenges which makes it extra hard for people to show up to therapy and unmask, no matter how approachable I may be. The reality is, we all hide aspects of ourselves in shame. Me too. Whatever shameful thing you have to share about yourself, me too, I have shameful things too. I am also human and messy and imperfect. What you are afraid to show up and share about in therapy....

First of all, we don’t tell anyone they are Autistic or “have” Autism. Because we haven’t done a full assessment and therefore, we are speculating

The only way I can survive being an Autistic therapist and marketing my practice is by being brutally honest about who I am and what I offer. I offer awkwardness. So much awkwardness. I don't start sessions off smoothly, like at all, I know the words but it's with an Autistic delivery every time. But I do offer integrity, honestly, a joy in deep diving about Autism or really anything in the DSM. But I will never be less awkward. I have come to terms with this.

There is a practice in Buddhism where monks create very intricate mandalas made out of sand only to destroy them later. It teaches us about impermanence, that life is a constant flow of change and we cannot hold onto anything too tightly.

I am probably not the first, nor the last, Autistic person to wonder, jeez is all this worth the agony? I mean, after decades of having friends, losing friends, agonizing over the most minor social interactions or faux pas, at some point, it starts to make sense to wonder what am I trying to accomplish here? Maybe I’d be more relaxed if I just gave it up. And honestly, I am tempted. Not like I will run off to live in the woods alone

Defining what I do as a psychotherapist is so hard. Especially because I don't seem to fit in with most therapists (surprise, surprise). I had to add the CBT comment in there because it's a fresh re-realization.

Over the past week, I've been contacted by two separate directories asking me if I am still okay with my Autism diagnosis being shared publicly. This concern is coming from the real and legitimate fear Autistic people have right now in the US. My answer to both of these organizations was YES, I am going to keep publicly sharing my Autism diagnosis, in fact, I am more passionate about doing so now than ever before.

Introducing my newest license (drum roll, please): Massachusetts! I currently have limited availability for psychotherapy and Autism assessments but I am excited to add a new license to my practice so I can expand the amount of folks I can serve.

It is said of Autistic people that when we love something, we LOVE it and there is no in between.

Last April I was in the midst of my Autism assessment so I wanted to reflect on how I began suspecting I was Autistic...