Accommodations I Am Asking For In 2026

When we think of accommodations, many of us imagine our favorite stim objects, a cozy corner, perhaps subtitles, or a map of a conference before we attend. Those are important and necessary accommodations for many of us. As a therapist, a lot of my time is spent thinking and talking about relationships and the social impact of autism. So I wanted to share the types of accommodations I help my clients ask for, as well as the types of accommodations I ask for in my own life and relationships.

I’ll start by saying that we cannot force anyone else to accommodate us. Accommodations in relationships have to be a collaborative and consensual process. When we ask for social accommodations, such as direct communication, it requires that we explain what that means for us and help the other person understand it. This may involve sending videos or recommending articles or books, and it often requires trial and error and feedback.

For example, direct communication might mean saying, “I need you to tell me directly if something is bothering you,” rather than expecting me to infer it from tone, behavior, or unspoken cues. If this isn’t natural for the other person, it can take time to learn. They need to be open to feedback and willing to practice a different communication style.

The same is true for other accommodations, such as asking for itineraries or schedules—meaning collaboration and support in knowing events or information in advance and achieving predictability. Alternative forms of communication are another important accommodation. Needing time to process before responding, or needing to write out thoughts instead of speaking them, is not “avoidant” or manipulative behavior but a necessary communication support for our brains. These accommodations are rooted in the need to be understood.

The final accommodation is the ongoing need for collaboration around accommodation needs themselves, including conversations about how accommodations are implemented and adjusted so that everyone’s needs are met as well as possible within the relationship. These are nuanced conversations that require both parties to work together and repair misunderstandings over time.