Autism And The Worry About Being Misperceived

This meme came into my mind as the Late-Discovered Autistic group met tonight. We were talking about being misperceived and the worry that we are also being misperceived in the group since most of us have always on some level been misperceived.

It was a refreshing conversation because how many spaces do we inhabit where we can safely talk about a common and pervasive autistic issue such as not being perceived correctly our entire lives? And have the people around us not only get it but live it daily and worry about it simultaneously in the group because that worry never really leaves, it is always in the back of our minds going "maybe they think you are sharing too much about yourself or they think you are inauthentic or too talkative or not talkative enough or maybe you offended everyone."

Navigating how much of ourselves to share at any given time is a real challenge. Especially when we’ve received messages throughout our life that we are “wrong” in some way and that we need to fix it in order to have relationships. Figuring out unmasking adds another complex layer since many of us want to consciously peel back our masking and show who we really are, that fidgety, deep thinking, self-conscious, sensitive, ruminative person we have hid for so long. And it is terrifying. What if they judge me and misunderstand what I mean?

What is lovely about our group is that most of us take everything literally. So chances are, if you say something, we will just believe it or ask questions if we are confused. I love that about our group.