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  • Writer's pictureDanielle Aubin, LCSW

Unmasking can look however the f*ck you want!

autistic therapist support group

In case you needed a reminder, there is no one way to be an autistic person. And there is no one way to unmask. Unmasking can look however the f*ck you want. Do you want to wear full make up and move up the ladder in a fortune 500 company? Cool. Do you want to wear homemade leather, embrace your non-binary gender identity and move to the woods? Cool. Honestly, it doesn't f*cking matter if I or anyone else thinks it's cool because unmasking is about what feels right for you.

Unmasking can literally look like anything. That is because it is a process of rediscovering who you are and who you would like to be. This is a dynamic process and there is no one who can judge what is the “right” way to unmask. NO ONE.

I had someone comment on one of my TikTok videos about my use of the eyelash filter (this is basically a filter that makes it look like I am wearing mascara). They said it was “peculiar” that I used it on a video where I spoke about unmasking. I find that hilarious. Filters on social media, use of makeup or flashy clothes or wearing or using any product, has literally nothing to do with unmasking from camouflaging a disability for decades.

For me, using an eyelash extension filter on TikTok IS unmasking. If I decided to wear full face makeup or wear sequins or whatever, that could still be unmasking. Because unmasking has nothing to do with what I wear or what I look like. Unmasking, for me, is a psychological and spiritual process. It is an uncovering of my soul, of my inner being and psyche, it has nothing to do with what I wear or don’t wear.

Unmasking does not have rules. Unmasking does not have a “look”, unmasking is what you make it. No one can judge you. No one can tell you that you are doing it wrong. Unmasking is a liberation from the oppressive judgment and “rules” that kept you playing a part for decades. You don’t have to do that anymore. You can let that go.

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