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  • Writer's pictureDanielle Aubin, LCSW

Pre-birth meeting with the universe


Autistic therapist audhd therapist california minnesota arkansas

Real transcript of my pre-birth meeting with the universe


Universe: Hello. This meeting is just a quick orientation. You won’t remember anything after you are born but corporate has told us that we still need to have this meeting.


Me: Uh, ok.


Universe: Well, anyway. Here is an overview of your operating system. It is located in your brain which is in your skull. Any questions?


Me: Um, what does PDA AuDHD mean?


Universe: Oh, yeah. Well, see you are being born with kind of a unique brain. You are winning the lottery! I mean, well, not really but you will be a little different than most people.


Me: What is this type of brain like?


Universe: Well, you see most people are “neurotypical”. And neurotypicals differ from the brain version PDA AuDHD in many ways. For one, PDA means you will have a persistent demand for autonomy. In fact, any threat to your autonomy will feel like a threat to your very existence.


Me: Oh wow. Will society give me a lot of autonomy, then?


Universe: Not at all. You will be born in the 80’s and late stage capitalism will already be underway. Society will be looking to get you to work for a corporation or some other autonomy crushing entity. It will be hard to escape this.


Me: Oh. Won’t I have a difficult time then?


Universe: Yeah, probably.


Me: What is AuDHD then?


Universe: It means you are autistic and also ADHD. That can show up in a lot of ways but for you that will mean you need order, routine, and predictability and ADHD will constantly be undermining that.


Me: So how is this like winning the lottery??


Universe: Well, you’ll have awesome pattern recognition skills. And your sensitivity will be off the chain, you’ll notice any incongruencies in life and solve problems before they even happen.


Me: Will I learn how to manage this type of brain starting from birth?


Universe: Oh no. You won’t know you have this type of brain until you are in your 30’s.


Me: Then how will I be able to handle all of this complexity without knowing what it is?


Universe: You will just think you’re crazy and use substances and dissociation to cope.


Me: Dang.

Universe: Yeah. Anyways, our time is up. Good luck!


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