How I Became Specialized In Autism & ADHD As A Psychotherapist

As you may have guessed as a therapist with lived-experienced, this is a deeply personal journey. The beginning of this story is actually way before I became a therapist, before I even knew that much about psychology. It began when my parents told me that a family member was getting an Asperger’s assessment (I am deeply aware Asperger’s is no longer a term used and has a bad history to it but I am using it here for accuracy, Asperger’s syndrome is now included in the diagnosis of Autism). From that day on, I had a word for what that family member, and I, were dealing with. I never said it that way to anyone because it was my deepest held secret that I actually related deeply to my family member but tried my hardest to act and look completely the opposite from them. And it “worked”, no one thought I should be assessed for Asperger’s Syndrome and my family member looked up to me as someone who understood the social cues they missed when in reality, I was just as clueless and all I could teach was how to mask.

By the time the internet rolled around, I was probably 11 or so, I forget, I was psyched because I now had a tool to help me effectively hone my mask and improve my very academic and cerebral understanding of human behavior. From the moment I got a computer in my room, I looked up stories about psychology and human behavior nonstop. Armed with the internet and, unfortunately, illegal substances, I was able to fool everyone into thinking I was just a “normal”, perhaps emotionally disturbed and substance-abusing, but otherwise definitely not Autistic kid. 

By pure luck, I was able to weasel my way into college despite having so many barriers and I was able to start first at a junior college and then at a small university (all of the big universities intimidated me so I only ever applied to one school and I was terrified to take any standardized tests due to undiagnosed dyslexia and of course, undiagnosed Autism and ADHD). I studied psychology because that was the one subject that I needed to become an expert in in order to survive and also, I couldn't pay attention to much beyond it. I became a therapist for a number of reasons one of which was because I thought that if I became an expert on human behavior, I would actually act like a human is supposed to. Or figure out what was wrong with me (although I probably knew on some level that it was Autism). 

My master’s program never mentioned neurodivergence or Autism, not even once. I never looked into it deeper, I didn’t have words for why I felt like an alien but I just pushed it down and soldiered on, it was something to be faked through but acknowledged and looked at. It was only once I had my first child and became completely sober (AKA forced to learn that my socializing abilities ran on alcohol), that I couldn’t ignore my starkly obvious differences anymore. My first child had medium support needs and reminded me of myself and what I had been trying to hide from the world my whole life. 

Around that time I left my government job and I had spent almost a year working for tech company as a therapist and I learned quickly that the corporate structure was not for me. I was ready to launch into private practice while also worried that it would be too intense for me socially and that I wouldn't be able to market it. At that same time, I got formally diagnosed with Autism and I decided to dive deeper into Autism and ADHD as a clinical specialty hoping that I could find some way to make private practice viable for an Autistic person like me.

I realized that the only way to sustainably work in private practice would be to radically unmask and work with a population that would appreciate an unmasked autistic therapist. I had been spending my whole life pushing myself to fit a mold that I couldn’t fit into anymore and now I was going to create a business where I wouldn't have to. I made sure I wouldn't backtrack on this promise to myself so I made the name of my practice My Autistic Therapist. I didn’t want to continue to feel pressure to mask and hide who I was so I unmasked in the name of my practice itself. I wanted to create an environment where I could be myself and model radical acceptance of being Autistic. Autism also became a SpIn for me and I have been voraciously studying Autism ever since.

So here I am. I am not only an Autistic late-diagnosed adult but I am also the parent of two Autistic children, one of whom has medium support needs. I have spent years advocating for my child to receive adequate support and know firsthand how our system fails autistic people, in particular Autistic AFAB/women/girls of color. Even though I have to admit that this work truly is hard, the being an Autistic person part, the being an Autistic parent part, and definitely the being an Autistic therapist part, I still find inspiration and hope and beauty in being able to show up for my neurokin every day.